Walmiki’s Message for Us

Walmiki’s Message for Us

The epic story of
“Ramayan” is held as a guiding light by most of us Indians. We
often refer to Ram as the most ideal man and look at his life story
as an inspiration.

I have sifted through
Ramayan many times ( even the original Sanskrit version ) but I have
failed to find any guiding principles in parenting ! First chapter of
Ramayan, “Bal kand” does not have a single verse on parenting !
Is it possible that this was not a burning issue at the time? Not
likely, because ancient Indian literature is full of such advice;
Panchtantra and Issapniti are written for this job. Mahabharat talks
about father’s influence and mother’s role many times. Then why is
Ramayan silent on this?

I have tried to look at
cryptic clues and found one –

The story of Shravan, the
beginning of Ramayan, may hold a clue for us.

Shravan, a young boy,
lives in forest, with his blind and very old parents. For his thirsty
parents, he goes to fetch water in the dark of night. King Dasharath,
waiting in the dark with his bow and arrows kills Shravan, mistaking
him for a wild animal. When the old couple comes to know about this
sacrilege, they put a curse on King Dasharath, “ like us, you too
shall die, separated from your most beloved child !”

As the story unfolds in
Ramayan, not only Dashrath but even his son, King Ram is separated
from his family and spends long time being sad and lonely. In the end
he unites with his sons but across a battlefield as an opponent.

I believe that Ramayan
is a metaphor for us to unravel. Blindness and old age of Shravan’s
parents point to parents’ outdated life view and blindness towards
real needs of their kids. King Dasharath is a symbol of society and
government that is not bothered about well being of young ones.

For me the message of
Ramayan is loud and clear – if you ignore real needs of young
generation and remain preoccupied with your own aspirations, you will
be cursed for not one but three generations and will remain unhappy
and emotionally isolated !

Can we learn from this
guiding light that is burning since almost three thousand years?

Safeguarding Children from Sex Abuse

This is a very important subject for our kids’ safety.

Considering the huge response this subject draws, with help of Meeta Kabra and Navin Kabra,  I have created a separate sire for this topic –



Please visit this site for more information and educational video.

Child Psychology and Professionals

Lots of people get confused between Child Psychologists and Child Psychiatrists. Some important differences are-

1. Child Psychiatrists are always medical doctors. They typically have more than 10 years of training in medical and related fields.

2. Child psychiatrists are licenced to prescribe medications that are sometimes necessary in severe cases.

3. Child psychologists are graduates and post- graduates from arts and humanities stream. they often work in specialist fields like – school and educational psychology, counseling psychology, behavioural sciences, etc.

4. Child psychologists are trained to carry out various psychological tests like Intelligence Quotient (IQ), aptitude tests, tests for learning disbility, other tests that provide information about temperament of the child.

5. Child psychologists and Child Psychiatrists often refer patients to each other for specific work that requires specialist input.

Most good schools now have a in house counselor or child psychologist. They work with teachers to detect problems at early stage and help the child in classroom setting. they also conduct counseling sessions and specific interventions like play therapy, behaviour therapy in schools.


School counselors / Psychologists can conduct psychological tests and advice parents and schools about better ways of working with a child.

Good Childhood

Today I came across this report on BBC website.


It talks about what we can and should do improve the quality of childhood. I know that in India we are far behind international standards on education and social life, but that should not prevent us from knowing what is really good for children and society in general.

“Love Thy Child”

My recent activity on twitter generated
some interest. So here are all the tweets put together-



love is the best tonic u can give ur
children. there are no overdoses, toxicity and side effects if you
administer pure love. keep reading-




1. children r happier if you love
them, neutral if you MANAGE them, sad if you manipulate them,
vengeful you if u lie 2 them.


2. children in concentration camps
were happier than their guards! how? was it- hope/ curiosity/
ignorance/ energy/ enthusiasm?


3. working hard for family is parents’
responsibility. don’t demean it by verbalizing it. always remember
Walmiki’s tale.


4. remember the person who really
motivated you. what did they do? try that with your child. use same
time frame….no instant results.


5. what age was your first
infatuation? when were you ready for intimacy? Subtract 3 years from
that – that is when your child will do it. ( for normal parents



6.children listen to people they have
fun with. how much fun are you?


7.if you want children to listen to you
– speak less, speak with smile, give only one suggestion per 12
hours. lead by example.


8.respect generates from admiration,
interest from fascination, motivation from self-belief and all 3 from
love. what can u generate?


9. audit your time spent with your
child. what percentage is spent giving instructions, complaints,
suggestions, advice, etc.?


10. make a list of 10 of your idols.
read about their academics upto age 18. remember that while thinking
about your child’s academics.


11.do not be impatient while they are
talking. frame your questions with what and how instead of why.


12.make good eye contact with your
child and smile. difficult? try to exhale while you smile, works
best, almost natural